Saturday, March 28, 2009


Lay down your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling, you have come to journey's end.
Sleep now and dream of the ones who came before.
They are calling from across the distant shore.
Why do you weep? What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see all of your fears will pass away.
Safe in my arms, you're only sleeping
What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea, a pale moon rises.
The ships have come to carry you home.
And all will turn to silver glass,
a light on the water, all souls pass.
Hope fades into the world of night
through shadows falling out of memory and time.
Don't say we have come now to the end. 
White shores are calling, you and I will meet again
and you'll be here in my arms, just sleeping.
What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea, a pale moon rises.
The ships have come to carry you home.
And all will turn to silver glass.
A light on the water, grey ships pass
into the West.

Im meleth le, van Oré Vala nîn. Always and Forever. No matter what.

Monday, March 23, 2009

My Life Be Like

Yeah... some days are like this... I suppose it's to be expected of life. But there are days. 

ooh ahh ooh ooh...
It's times like these that make me say
lord if you see me please come my way
leavin bread crumbs for when I stray
rely on sacrifice and the price you paid
feel me like a fingertip
sometimes I fall I slip
my heartfelt desire to be more like you
tryin not to quench your fire by the things that I do

on a island by my lonesome stranded
low key and stayin candid
reflect on all the things I try my hand at
search for the equations to persuasions I'm used to
findin comfort in the zones of closet bones I get loose to
a mountainous fontaine
spinnin and monsoonin
grinnin it's high octane
explosive how I came
rollin down hills cause life's a hassle
encircled by my folly like a moat surrounds a castle
stay afloat catch a second wind
thin is the air I breathe
teary eyed nose runnin
wipe the snot on my sleeve
I'm callin on my savior to be all that I need
please forgive me
my behavior had me lost at light speed

the fear of never fallin in love
and the tears after losin the feelings 
of what you thought love was
like the dirt still up under the rug
bad characteristics
covered in Christ's blood
the joy of new birth 
and the pain of growing up
the bliss between givin my all
and givin up
the highs and lows 
paths and roads I chose
in the cold I froze
tryin to ease my woes
in this world of sin
clothes too thin to fend
so to God I send
words of help to win
in grumblings so deep 
letters could never express
so the sound of ooh ahh 
beneath my breath projects...

As you can tell... it kind of fits my whole month thus far... 

*rubs neck* I wish I was stronger, sometimes... like maybe I wouldn't break down over nothing... 

Sunday, March 22, 2009

To Tag Friends In Pictures On Facebook

Okay, so I know I probably overcomplicate this. We have a series of pics going around where there are like twenty or thirty characters in each pic and we tag a friend for each...

Well, as you can imagine, I'm struggling a lot with this... It's driving me crazy. It takes me forever to actually get around to doing anything when it comes to tagging photos like this... I have five on my desktop. Just now getting started with the Super Smash Bros. Brawl pics. 

I put so much thought into these... and chances are they'll turn out all wrong. 

So feel free to laugh at me. :P I don't mind. 

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Is go dte tu mo mhuirnin slan.

Translation: And safe for aye may my darling be.

My prayer for all my friends tonight.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Recalling the facts

Yeah, it's true. I temporarily forget several important things. First of all, the fact that I'm Sane has not crossed my mind in three years. The reminder that I wanted to race in NASCAR once only comes up once a week, and even then it's like, "oh yeah, didn't I want to do that someday? oops"

Oh yeah, and I forget I'm a teenage girl. 

Seriously. I remember being human. I do. I remember being female in the gender sense. But in terms of personality, I cannot remember that I'm a teenage girl. Yakking on the phone is not a fun thing, it's a communication device to be taken and used at will. Brushing out hair in the morning is not a "how do I intend to style this to reflect my personality?", it is a "meh, this is getting too long again to be functionally useful. I wonder if getting it cut a tad shorter with more layers would keep it from getting in my way for a little while longer?"

Today, the fact is impossible to avoid. 

I wake up. I have my black tank top on with SPARKLES everywhere! I love this shirt. Well, it's in the fifties out, and I want something on my arms. So I tie on the removable sleeves from my homemade 'ren-esque' dress to the straps of my tank top. Nice big flares on my jeans. And pink stripes in my hair that are fading to a strawberry color. I hate getting up in the mornings when I feel lousy, so makeup usually helps. Concealer is thrown on and glitter is sparkled over my cheeks and on my eyelids. Better.

Still doing iffy. Get up. Talk to a friend for awhile. Feel better. :woot: 

Then I'm bored. So I watch an anime while talking to an adopted older brother. I quote: 
he: researches death ray prices
me: WHY?!
he: It'll only kill moths... probably... pop balloons and light matches...
me: looks like I might be in trouble then.
he: are you a moth? a match? a balloon? no.
me: yup.
he: you are also my little sister and therefore my evil powers will be used to protect you.

I read the above line at the same time the main male lead character says to the MC: "Never forget that you're a girl!" (he's scolding her about being reckless)

The reminders today that I'm a teenage girl and supposedly pretty helpless are everywhere. Oh joy. Oh rapture. Would you mind terribly if I sped through this next year to get to my twentieth birthday? *bile rises at that thought* Nevermind. I'm going BACK in time to my TWELFTH birthday and staying there. And I'm taking my friends with me.

Mlek. I hate this cough. Perhaps I should change that to *phlegm rises*.

The facts: 18, almost 19. Sick. Starved to death for the bacon Mom's cooking. In desperate need of a solution to this story I've been writing. Teenage girl. Hardly helpless.

The miracles: Many. The first and not last was today, a dear friend returned home after running away, and she found Him. :D The Lord is good and faithful.