Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Rain, rain on my face... hasn't stopped raining for days...

"Don't know whether or not how sad I just got was of my own volition or if I'm just missing the sun. And tomorrow, I know, will be rainy at best and the forecast, I know, says that I'll be depressed. But I'll wait outside hoping that I'll catch sight of the sun. Because on and off, the clouds have fought for control over the sky. And lately the weather has been so bi-polar and consequently, so have I. And the temperature is freezing and then, after dark, there's a cold frost sweeping in over my heart. And we might break up if I don't wake up to the sun."

"Calm the storms that drench my eyes, dry the streams still flowing. Cast down all the waves of sin and guilt that overthrow me. Lift me up - when I'm falling. Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying. Lift me up - I need you to hold me. Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again."

"I'm not afraid of drowning, it's the breathing that's taking all this work..."

In other news: I got letters yesterday and that completely made my day. Hearing from Kryos was AWESOME and Linny's letter was brilliant.

On top of that, I got this hilarious vid from Ema in a PM the other day: http://www.youtube.com/watchv=LHj1zrjpgKM
and it never fails to make me smile.

Today hasn't been the easiest day in a long time... Today of all days, it had to rain. I wanted to just give up. So much... I couldn't care less how I was just so long as there was nothing dangerous close at hand or I could very quickly go downhill.

And now Hinder is stuck in my head: "You deserve much better than me."

*sighs* I want to be better. I don't know how. I'm too tired to want to know tonight. Tomorrow I'll wake up crying again like usual, but I'll have the strength to want again. That'll be good.